K.B.’s Story

“I was on birth control pills and got pregnant anyway. Neither of us wanted or were capable of taking care of a child. ”

I married an interesting but troubled man when I was 21.  I was also troubled. Troubled from childhood. We started out optimistic and happy but the life we lead bore no resemblance to what I had experienced growing up and it was not easy figuring out now to navigate in this strange difficult relationship.

I was on birth control pills and got pregnant anyway. Neither of us wanted or were capable of taking care of a child.  We were open to abortion.  It was my decision – as it should be.   This was in the early 60’s long before abortion was legal.  I no longer remember how I made contact with the provider but it took a while and my breasts were swelling and I was drinking milk like crazy at work.  People were noticing and I played dumb.  Finally, I was met outside my office building one night and several hours later was returned – no longer pregnant.. What I can recall of it (over 50 years later) is that it was a simple procedure.  I don’t remember the cost.  I was Greatly relieved.

A year later I got pregnant again and this time my husband contacted a married couple who were friends of his.  We went to their home.  She knew what she was doing. I believe she’d done it before and that all she had to do was insert a catheter into my uterus for a while. After a while I expelled the fetus in the toilet. Interesting but not distressing.   It wasn’t easy but it also wasn’t traumatic.

The next day I was very tired but also elated and enormously relieved.  I was free. FREE! The sun was shining again.

It turned out the marriage was seriously bad.  I repeatedly experienced both significant physical and emotional abuse.  Bring a child into this world?  No way!  A year later I divorced him.  Despite how necessary and appropriate it was, I was devastated.

The good news is I went on to have two more wonderful men/husbands in my life.   

Never, not for a moment, have I regretted that I had the two abortions.  Only those women who Want to have a child (and hopefully are prepared to do what it takes to be a mother) should be required to go through with a pregnancy – no matter what the circumstances of the pregnancy.

After the divorce I continued to be sexually active but by then I had an IUD.  But even IUD’s are not 100% effective so in my mid 30’s I had a tubal ligation.  So, no chance of a white picket fence in my future. Yup - in some ways that was hard to give up a fantasy dream but that’s all it was. AND it was the right thing to do.

I am now 83 and have no regrets and will speak out and do what I can to be heard that women – and girls if necessary – have the right to make choices about their bodies and their future lives.

If men got pregnant, we would not be having this problem.