J.A.’s Story
“When I called to make the appointment they told me there might be protesters outside. I'm really thankful there was nobody outside.”
I would like to tell the story about the abortion I had in January. I started dating a lovely young man who I'm still with today, fortunately. I started dating him in September. I turned 22 on December 1, and six days later, I found I was pregnant. It took both of us a very long time to figure out what we were doing. We ultimately came to the decision to get an abortion, and it was a very very hard decision. I was eleven weeks and five days when we finally had the procedure done.
We went to Spokane Valley. They were so nice there which helped a lot to ease the anxiety because it was a very scary process. When I called to make the appointment they told me there might be protesters outside. I'm really thankful there was nobody outside.
After, I kinda just pretended that none of it ever happened. I just made it seem like three months of my life disappeared, never happened.
I did eventually post about it on Facebook. I have a group on Facebook associated with Sandpoint reproductive rights. I didn't go into detail cuz I just wasn't ready yet. I told my friends first. I told my grandma before I told my mom. I did not tell my mom until after I had the abortion. I told everybody while I was pregnant. My mom was the last person I told. I told my mom a couple hours after I had the abortion.
She is my best friend, but we see things differently. She is very Republican, conservative, and I am the complete opposite. However, I do know that she had an abortion, and she had a couple of miscarriages. She's got four kids now, but she is pretty strict. She had kids young and she doesn't want her kids to go through that. She was upset when I told her. And now my nineteen-year-old sister is pregnant and planning on keeping it.
I've had some mean things said about me behind my back —basically that I wouldn't be a good mother anyway and that I should have gone through with it — but for the most part everybody has been supportive. I just wish I had more support after the abortion. I wish I had somebody who had gone through the same thing as me to be able to talk to.
For me personally, I've had a hard time talking about other people being pregnant or seeing other people pregnant. It's weird because I don't feel guilty. I understand a lot of people do feel guilty; I personally don't. I just feel sad that I had to go through that and that it's something I could have had.
I would like to have kids. But if I don't, I'll be okay. I'd be happy. Depends on your partner. Before I got with my boyfriend, I never wanted kids and knew I'd have an abortion. Then I got pregnant and it took months to decide what to do.
I'd like to say - it's okay to not feel guilty. Getting a surgical abortion is not a bad thing. For me it was a better choice than the (abortion) pill. Some people have medical trauma and choose to do it at home with the pill. But for me, I wanted to be asleep to go through it. Still, it was incredibly painful. I can't imagine how painful it would be at home.
Before I became pregnant I have always been passionate about being pro-choice. I had never gone through it. Now I understand why this is so important. To stand up for our reproductive rights.
